novicetist:

Hey dude. It’s that time again for you to let yourself lose all your thoughts and let yourself jock out again. I’m sure you’re so stoked for this bro, so excited that you can already feel your thoughts beginning to leave your head. Feeling so good already at the idea of your head going completely empty. Isn’t that right bro? Haha, I’m sure you are. Just let your thoughts slip further and further out of your head. It’s not like you use your head that much anyway bro, so just let those dumb thoughts all just slip out of that jocked out head of yours. And don’t worry dude, you can still imagine yourself working out heard in the gym, lifting those huge weights. Repeating reps over and over. Up and down and up and down.  Feeling your muscles tense up, and then relax. Must feel fucking amazing bro. And I can tell how great you feel dude; your eyes are already getting that blank stare that you get at the gym dude. Your muscles must be loosening, becoming completely relaxed. Your big, strong arms dude. Those huge pecs and chest bro. Even those muscles in your legs dude. All your nice, big muscles completely relaxing as you read these words dude, just cause your reading these words. This feeling getting better and better till it becomes hard to keep your eyes open top read these words. But it feels so good to read these words though that you’ll just continue to keep your eyes open bro so you can continue reading. And as you read you can continue to imagine you lifting those weights dude. Up and down, over and over again. Makes you feel so fucking good dude. And just like after your workout when you’re relaxing, your breathing is probably beginning to slow down. Slower and slower the more you read these words dude. I’m sure just slowly inhaling, and then gently exhaling will help you relax some more, letting all that air go to your muscles and help them grow even bigger than they are now. Just slowly inhale dude, letting yourself breath all the way in to fill your lungs, and once your lungs are full then you can gently exhale bro. All the way out. I bet it just feels so good to focus on these words, while you head gets emptier and all your muscles completely relax.
And don’t worry bro, your thoughts have been drifting out of your head this entire time. Just drifting out of that empty space and drifting away from you. I’m sure it’s feeling amazing to have less and less stuff in your head, and it’ll be even better when you have nothing in there at all. You don’t need to have those heavy thoughts, you only need heavy weights to lift. Up and down. Over and over. Let everything else go. I’m sure there aren’t that many thoughts left in your head anyway. Probably won’t be long till you’re just completely blank dude, being completely happy and dumb and not have to think for a while dude. Just letting yourself completely jock out and feel so good being a good jock. So bro, in a moment I’m going to count down from 10 to 1, and you’ll find that the rest of those dumb thoughts in your head just disappear, and your body will go totally relaxed. Don’t worry about nothing bro and just focus on these words and relax.

10. Let your thoughts go dude

9. Feel those muscles

8. Lifting weights

7. And putting them down

6. Up and Down

5. Over and Over

4. So good dude

3. So relaxed bro

2. Just focusing on these words

1. And how nice they are

0. Completely empty bro

Cool bro. Hopefully you’re feeling nice and relaxed dude. You can just mindlessly relax for me bro as you continue to read these words dude. Now as you’re just sitting there relaxing all empty like dude, why don’t you go ahead and reblog this post. I’m sure you’ll feel nice and relaxed as you do so bro and you wanna let other bros know about this cool post that helped you jock out. Also as you’re doing that why don’t you also follow me bro, since you really wanna help your bro out. Lastly, you’re gonna comment what you liked about this post bro, it’ll also help me out dude. Thanks dude, You can relax until you’re ready to wake up. Now in a moment bro I’m going to count to 3, and when I do you’ll wake. Sound good bro?

1.

2.

3.

Wake up bro. Hope you like. I saw a text post like this from someone else and thought I’d give it a shot for myself. If you really like I hope you leave a comment and follow. I’m hoping to make some more text inductions so any and all feedback helps. If you want me to do a specific text too then also just let me know. You can also check out my other inductions by searching #novicestuff on my Tumblr. Come and check it out!

bro… feels like i got my face smashed in with a brick. like, a really comfy fuckin brick. can barely keep my eyes open, except i am cause they’re rollin into the back of my head… dude, i’m talkin, like, convulsing with pleasure here… like my brain is a bug squished by the comfy brick and now it’s just twitching and jerking its dead little legs in a pile of its own guts and i’m like glahhhwawawaw… you know how to speak my language, bro